Introductions

This is a blog I am going to begin with honesty. Few people will read this. But this is as much for me as you.

On February 14^th 2011, in the early hours of the morning, I was raped.

I’d gone out in a terrible mood that day. I was angry and self destructive. I was aiming to drink enough to pass out, to drown out everything running through my mind. I downed cocktail after cocktail before a man, Pete, offered to buy me a drink. We danced and we kissed and I suggested we leave the club together.

That’s right. I suggested. The thing is. There’s a myth going round that if the girl said yes at any point then it’s not rape. Who cares if she changes her mind after all? Consent has been given. If she changes her mind she’s just a tease who deserves it anyway.

But that’s not true.

Outside the club I could barely stand. I couldn’t see, couldn’t think. The world was spinning. Pete led me down an alley and pressed me against the wall. I was suddenly filled with horror. What was I doing? This was my virginity and I was a christian. I made a weak attempt at pushing him away, saying no,  but alcohol has a way of preventing you moving. I was close to passing out. He turned me around and there was nothing I could do. I couldn’t fight him and my drunken brain could not muster words let alone a scream. All I could think about was how much I wanted it to stop. How much I wanted to get away. How much he was hurting me.

When it was finished I returned to the club and collapsed in the toilets.

There you have it. That’s my story. It’s not dramatic. No man grabbed me from the shadows or wrestled me to the ground. I didn’t fight, I froze. I didn’t scream, I cried. But it was still rape. There are many different types of rape. All that matters is that the girl wants it to stop. Taking advantage of a girl too paralytic to properly fight you is just as much rape as fighting one to the ground.

I’m telling you this because no girl should have to suffer this alone. No girl should feel like it’s her fault or like damaged goods. This blog is about rebuilding self esteem. Mine and yours. This is about reinventing ourselves in Christ.

This isn’t restricted to rape victims. That’s just my story. Anything that holds you back from being the strong woman you should be needs to be faced. Eating disorders, violence, depression, stress, relationships; anything. Whether it's something you've been a victim of or something you need forgiving for.

The bible tells us:

"What this means is that those become christians become new persons. They are not the same anymore, for the old life is gon. A new life has begun."- 2 Corinthians 5:17

This is blog is about removing the shackles that hold us back, one by one, and moving into the light, into the life we were made for.

Together.