Rejection

Rejection is a part of life that, however often it happens, is incredibly difficult to get used to. Especially for us girls. Feeling rejected can really screw you up, leave you feeling worthless and unwanted. It's bad enough when people reject you. When someone doesn't invite you to that party that everyone is going to, or when you're turned down for a job you really wanted. Often we thrive of approval from others. Whether they were rejecting us as a person or simply not believing we were the right person for them at the time, rejection feels the exact same.

I wasn't good enough.

But what's worse then that is when it feels like God is rejecting you as well. Sometimes it feels like everyone else is rejecting you so surely it's only a matter of time until God does as well. What's going to make him stay around if no one else will? I'm nothing special, just damaged goods.

Last year, I applied for an internship with a christian organisation. Everyone around me told me i was guaranteed to get a place, that i was perfect for it and it was where God wanted me. And it was what i wanted. I had a burning desire to serve God and to help heal his broken children. I was desperate for that opportunity to serve him for a year, to learn about myself and others and grow deeper in relationship with him. But I was rejected. The interviewer told me I wasn't right for leadership and it felt like the door was slammed on my face.

Something happened before the interview that made it so right that i didn't get that place. I was going through a difficult time in the family and with friends and i felt like everyone was rejecting me, that God was going to reject me. I didn't want to sit around and wait for him to turn his back on me so i set out to reject him instead. I tried my hardest to hurt him, to break his rules, to push him away. All i succeeded in doing was hurting myself.

God will never reject us. He is the one constant thing in our lives who will never leave, never change, never give up on us. When i didn't get that place it wasn't because God was rejecting me it was because he knew i was far from ready. He was saying "you're still my broken, hurting daughter and you need more time to rest in my arms". My attempts to push him away were without grounds, he never had any intention of leaving in the first place.

The bible is full of people worthy of God's rejection. King David committed adultery and had a man killed because he wanted his wife for his own; The Israelites, a whole people, continuously turned their backs on a God who had saved them from slavery and worshipped idols; Jonah refused to help God's people; Mary Magdalene and Tamar were prostitutes; Saul tried to have David killed and visited a medium, the adulterous woman in the New Testament, Samson disobeys God's commands and reveals the secret of his strength, Abraham doesn't trust God to keep his promise so sleeps with his wife's servant, Noah was a drunk, Cain killed his brother, and right at the very beginning Adam and Eve disobeyed God and ate from the tree of life and both tried to shift the blame.

Right from the very beginning people were messing up. We are a worthless and broken people. If i was God, if i had been hurt as often and as badly as him, i would have given up on people a long time ago. Washed them away and started again. But God never will. He sticks with us no matter what because we are his children. That list is just to name a few. There are hundreds of other people who have screwed up and hurt God in the bible. People who were hurting and felt worthless. God didn't reject them, he made them whole.

Romans 8:28-39 tell us, "I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can't, and life can't. The angels can't, and the demons can't. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can't keep God's love away. Whether we are high above the sky or in the deepest ocean. nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Nothing can ever separate us from the love of our Father in heaven.

When it feels like all the doors are closing in on us, when everyone is rejecting us, God is carving us a new path through the rubble of our lives. Who needs doors when walls are falling down?